A Tiny Voice of Fear
Today Anthony, Sydney and I all went to the grocery store to pick up a few items. While we were there, mister independence insisted on going to bathroom by himself. I am not a fan of this idea, but waver his need for independence and safety, so I let him go. I waited for him and didn’t move from the place I was, but when he came out, he took a wrong turn and I heard the distinct sound of MY child with pure dread in his voice say one word that set my internal alarm off… “MAMA!” I called “Anthony, I am here” and followed his voice to see my child with panic all over his face. In reality, he was only about 20 feet away, but around a corner so he didn’t see me. I felt so bad for him. He was clearly shaken. After a series of hugs, he relaxed and said “Mama, I thought you were gone forever”. My poor baby. I assured him that I was right here all along and hadn’t moved, and would NEVER just leave him somewhere. It is amazing how connected to our children we are. He said one word “Mama”, and I KNEW his fear of being lost and his hope of finding me. I also KNEW that was my child, not someone else’s from one word. Although it shook him up, it probably was a good thing. He is famous for walking off and having no fear. It was the first time I have seen him shaken. He got over it quickly and all was well again in Anthony-land, which was apparent when we hit the checkout line and heard a familiar…. “I was good, can I get a candy?”
On a more serious note, today I got some news second hand that a dear friend of mine just found out that she will be battling a very serious health issue. I have not talked to her directly, but my heart is just torn for her and her family. She is getting ready to fight a battle for her life and I know that she is frightened. She has a baby and just celebrated her first anniversary recently so has just come out of a place of safety when suddenly she hit a similar panic that Anthony had today. Anthony realized that he was lost and alone so called for his mama, the one who can comfort him. My friend is also lost. She is looking for answers and is calling out “Father, Where are you?” Tonight, my heart is very heavy as I write this entry. What I desperately want to convey to my friend is that God is just around the corner and she need just to STAND STILL and call HIS name. Like a mother hearing her child cry out for her, God hears and KNOWS her fear and will come to her and wrap his arms around her. I pray for her to stand still and let him find her. Here are some scripture to pray on:
Proverbs 3:6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble.
